My Lady

a million years ago
I stood a wreck
and blazed my eyes with the sun
blazed my eyes in the sun

O blessed is the creeper
the Ostrogoth the reaper
and all of Haley’s Comets

I stood a little over her
and watched her face ascending
and a thousand sunrise smile
razored both my eyes

wash my eyes for the filth they see
wash my eyes for the filth is me

blazed my eyes in the sun
blazed my eyes with the sun
stood a wreck

My lady giveth constantly
She neither toils nor spins
My lady is the genius
Over all the fools she wins

Humalong Babylon (Song?)

What did I expect but a
Humalong Babylon
Totally erect for a
Humalong Babylon
Steady getting wet in a
Humalong Babylon
Serve the secret pet to a

Wilder man and cashmere clone
Transcendental danger zone
Harmful hurts and hurtful harms
Scratches up and down your arms
Serve the secret pet in two
Enjoy the child and spoil the view

Elemental microcosm
One among a secret dozen
Save the world from harmful hatrack
Backing on to harmful headache
Heedless all around the tower

When did I emerge in a
Humalong Babylon
Why do I deserve a
Humalong Babylon
You get what you preserve
In this Humalong Babylon

In this here
I-RA-TION

The Guiding Light (Song)

When you’ve started down the path
And you’re hungry for a laugh

Look for the guiding light

When there’s trouble in your soul
And you’ve soon lost all control

Look for the guiding light

CHORUS

Look for the guiding light, O Lord
Look for the guiding light

It will shine as bright as day
It will help you on your way

Look for the guiding light

VERSES

When you’ve stumbled on the beach
And your goals are out of reach

When the fire inside your head
Makes a problem in your bed

When a terrorist attack
Seems to crawl right up your back

When your heart is feeling sore
And your landlord starts to roar

Song For L. Cohen

I tried so hard to win that I threw away the prize

There were things I could not alter, so I had to let them slide

I’ve been aching for somebody
Who will never ache for me

I let the darkness in
Now the darkness will not leave

I wasn’t born to love, but love still follows me around

I learned to hold my tongue while my friends went underground

There are changes in the weather
That simply baffle me

I let the sickness in
Now the sickness will not leave

The regime still runs like clockwork and the people are serene

But no one really knows what goes on behind the scenes

I wish that I could blame someone
But that someone might be me

I let the panic in
Now the panic will not leave

About a Boy

You could eat pancakes all day
When I was a boy
No one was ever in a hurry
My grandfather used to show me
The foundations of the country

You could see faces everywhere
For free, unobscured
When I was a boy

They had just discovered the cure for boredom
And it rained blood constantly
When I was a boy

My mother pointed out how overnight I became skinny and morose
And now even she is a ghost

You could spend the whole day dreaming
When I was a boy
No one forgot to love a stranger
My father used to take me
To see the limits of my imagination

It was a wonderful life
When I was a boy

Auras

The gliding auras of Nancy
Lift the evening to the stars
And all about the wine-stained villa
Couples trigger fire alarms

Up jumps a cloud of nightmare
And there you are again
Nose in the tragic mirror
Where all your fears are you

The dangling conversations of Kathy
Reach for the woman in the man
And everywhere that Kathy goes
Her mouth is full of sand

Up jumps a clotted apparition
Made of shadows older than time
Here come the old world women
To tidy up and straighten up
Lovely apparitions

(and they make great wine)

Always Remember

I must always remember
What her eyes gave me

I must always remember
A smattering of freckles on her face and arms

I must always remember
The small breeze fingering her hair

I must always remember
An earthy self I heard in her voice

I must always remember
That we shared a brief moment of eternity

I must always remember

But I’ll probably forget

The Key

JOHN: No one bothers me
MARY: I bother you
JOHN: You never bother me
MARY: Oh, I think I do, a little
JOHN: Well, as long as we seem to be speaking in a stylized manner, you are very large-hearted
MARY: I don’t know how to respond to that
JOHN (sings):

She’s a large-hearted gal
She’s a generous Sal
With her feet on the stoop
And her face in the soup

MARY (blushes)

She’s a twin-breasted champ
She’s an enemy camp…

MARY: Well, now you’ve gone too far!
JOHN: How so?
MARY: You are always joking around and you never want to talk about anything serious
JOHN: That’s a serious accusation. Who are you?
PETER: I’m Peter (with the Key)
MARY: What? Who?
PETER (sings):

And now my time has come
And so I draw the iron curtain
I’ll state my case and make it plain
Though all will still remain uncertain

JOHN: You remind me of someone
PETER: It’s lonely at the top
JOHN: Sinatra!
MARY: Blushes
BLUSHES (sings):

She’s the Queen of Iran
She’s a travelling Sam

SAM: No, she isn’t!
JOHN: How are we going to end this?
BLUSHES: Pardon me for being so bold, but end what?
JOHN: Do I know you?
BLUSHES: I’m merely a tertiary character
MARY: That’s what they all say until they get their hooks into John!
JOHN (sings):

The only girl I love is called Mary
That’s M-A-R-Y Mary
Just to repeat, her name is Mary
In case I wasn’t clear, her name is MARY

BLUSHES: It’s got a good beat and you can romance to it
SINGS: Fudgesicles! Methinks I am slain
BLUSHES: My lord, ’tis but a slight blemish brought on, as ’twere, by yon mosquitoe
SINGS: O sorry bug that ever dared pierce the royal flesh! (he dies)

THE KEY: I’m tired of this. I’m tired of all of you
JOHN: Is he finally here?
PETER: This is the Key
MARY (blushes)
JOHN: The answer to all our prayers
THE KEY: Look at yourselves and what you do. What do you really want? I’ve been the key for so many. What can I give you that will finally make you happy?

TO BE DISCONTINUED

Cracklin’ Rosie (Song)

The moon is climbing up into the vandalism trees

I’m living in the past, you’re living with débris

We’ve got heartaches by the number and furniture on the lawn

Oh, Cracklin’ Rosie, it’s not easy to go on

You called me from a coma and let me taste the sun

In the days of wine and roses that somehow never come

No happiness rubs off on me, I’m always saturnine

Oh, Cracklin’ Rosie, were you ever mine?

They’re bringing out the baggage of another million years

And everywhere you look, you can see brain cells disappear

Let’s burn all our illusions and act the way we feel

Oh, Cracklin’ Rosie, were you ever real?

She’s all aboard, she’s all around, she never needs to know

She gets her information from the Duchess of Escrow

She really needs an outlet for her worries and her cares

Oh, Cracklin’ Rosie, was I ever there?

The sacred oil is in my veins, another deal goes down

I’m on the phone to Toblerone, they say they want to frown

If all we had was time, I think we spent it well

Oh, Cracklin’ Rosie, we ought to burn in hell

Oh, Cracklin’ Rosie, I know we’ll burn in hell